Well hello there i am back people. I did not die a horrendous death i just could not be asked to update. Not much has changed to be honest. I am still living in Northampton and i still want to get the hell out of here. Maybe when Mark moves to London that will give me the impetus to get the hell out of this shithole. I will elaborate more on my dull life at a later date but for now i just wanted to touch base and do a little update, so laters

So another month goes by and the only reality is i am getting a month older. We always sit around making plans and say we are going to do this but then you realize you have not done anything and the only thing that has really happened is that you have gotten old.
I went out saturday and had a really good time. I went out with Mark and his friends and we went to the Soundhouse for the first time in ages. The 80's room is probably my favourite club room now. The music they play is just so cool, i love it. Although it does give me a sense of nostalgia as i remember when most of the songs they play were originally released. I did not drink any pints or alcopops and just stuck to double vodka and redbull which is probably why i felt pretty bad on sunday morning.
I went and saw Silent Hill also recently which i thought was okay. It has got some terrible reviews which i thought were a bit harsh. I thought visually is was excellent and the film always kept me engrossed. The story and script could of done with a bit of a patch up as both were a bit muddled but not so bad as to spoil my enjoyment of the film.
Asta la vista baby.

So i went to see Hostel with Mark last night and have to say i just was not that impressed with it. Not sure if its a phase i am going through but nearly all the films i have been to see at the cinema recently have left me less than impressed. This also includes V FOR VENDETTA and THE PINK PANTHER remake, though with that one what was i too expect, really need to see a good film soon or i will have to take a forced vacation from the cinema.
I was hoping it was going to be a bit of a piss up last night as i was really in the mood for one but Mark was not.He had gone out the previous night and got completely wasted. So we just went to a couple of bars and i got home before 1am, a rather disappointing night.
We did go to this jazz bar that we had really wanted to go to for a while but it turned out to be a bit anti-climatic as all it was was one very small bar that had very little space to do much off anything let alone room for a live band to play in. Although i did enjoy the music it was playing and maybe it could be a good place to go to on a sunday night when you want to just chill out and relax with some mates.

I have been listening to alot of Jazz lately on my Itunes radio and i have been really getting into it so i went into town today and brought a jazz compilation cd called THE BEST OF JAZZ. I am listening to it now and have to say so far so good. Jazz is the sort of music that just relaxes you i find. Especially after a crappy day of working at Tesco's i just listen to a bit of jazz and it de-angst's me and chills me right out.
Not really been up to much this week as last week was definitely a heavy week for me in terms of going out drinking. I usually go out drinking every couple of weeks so 3 times in a week was a big deal for me so i gave my body a week to recover this week and hopefully sometime in the next week or so my body will get reacquainted with mr Alcohol. I just need a night out getting pissed soon as i have kinda gotten into the whole thing now of going out and drinking. This is something i never really enjoyed that much up untill last year. I was just never that much into the drinking culture its just especially in the last couple of months i have really gotten into it. Also i have come to realize recently my threshold for how much i can drink has definitely gone up. Its that sense i get of when i have enough alcohol that any problems i have just seem to be not that big when i am drunk. There always seems a simple solution to them which always eludes me when i am sober. I know this is probably not a good think but it is a feeling like no other. No human being can give me this feeling, not even Annie, this is a feeling i only get with alcohol inside my body. Its a feeling of everything is alright with my world.

Damm man this jazz cd is quality. I highly recommend it to everybody. You can purchase it in Virgin records in Northampton for £11.99.

Oh well it has been very nice chatting with you, will see you soon dear reader.

So this week has been quality. I went out tuesday and thursday with a friend i have not seen in a while, Becky. She started a new job and also just started to rent a house so she has been super busy and not been out for ages but we made up for it this week. Tuesday night we just went round the pubs and basically got hammered. We started off in the Trumpet and stayed there for a couple of hours until about 9.30 and then got a lift into town and went to the Penny Whistle. I have not been there in a while so i had forgotten what a cool place it was and it is rather big so you have enough room to move around in even if it is busy. It was soo cool to see Becky again i had really missed hanging out with her. Sadly now she is renting a house she has to save her money and had to cut back on the drinking and going out. It just made me realize how lucky i have it at home.
This was the first time in a long while that i felt really relaxed and had the energy while being out with mates. I love hanging out with Mark and his friends are really nice but i am always gonna feel a bit like a outsider when i hang with them. There is a bond you have with close friends that will always be noticeable to outsiders. I have that bond with Mark and Becky because we built up our friendship before we started to hang out. Its kinda hard to build up friendships when the only place you see these people is pubs and clubs. I think sometimes i try to hard and that just makes it really awkward for the persons involved or i just do nothing and some people can interpret this as rudeness. Its not that i am intentionly being rude, well most of the time lol, its just as i am really shy i never know what to do in situations when you hang out with your mates and they bring other friends along that you do not know.

Wow this is all getting rather deep. Anyway where was i??? Oh yeah Tuesday night at the Penny Whistle. Many laughs were had, many drinks were drunk and we generally had a blast. We just slid back into it like it had only been a few days since we had last seen each other in that friends that only close friends can do.
We did basically the same thing thursday as well except i got a little less drunk as i had to be up for work this morning. Also Annie came with us which just made the night perfect. She took lots of pictures of us going from sober to rather drunk and in Becky's case absolutely wrecked. It must be strange foe Annie to see us get drunk since she has never tasted alcohol i wonder if she ever has thoughts of just giving it a try once. Although the state Becky was in at the end of the night i rather doubt it. We are going to see V FOR VENDETTA on saturday so that should be a laugh. Oh well laters.

So went out last night and it was a bit shit as i just was not in the mood to do anything. I was so tired i was suprised i did not fall asleep while watching the movie we went to see. While at the cinema we saw THE HILLS HAVE EYES and well to say it was a big disapointment would be the biggest understatement of the century, it was total shit. Once again another trailer has lulled me into a false sense of thinking this film might be good. Afterwards me, Mark and some of his friends went to the Boston clipper for a couple of drinks but i just was not feeling it. Not even playing on the quiz machine could perk my interest up. Also i started to feel really akward around Marks friends again which is something i thought i had got over but it definitely crept up again last night. I felt like a right cling on, I hope it was just the shit mood i was in that made me feel that way because i hated feeling like that. Eventually mark kindly gave me a lift home at about 12.30am or sometime there abouts.

It happened again yesterday. I went out last night and had enough to drink to make me feel drunk but all i felt was this sensation off light headedness. I have been drunk before and that is not how it should feel. This is happening to me alot recently, another point is that i am drinking alot more recently but that is another discussion for another day, i always used to be such a lightwieght but maybe i am just becoming more tolerant to alcohol. Which is a shame because that means i am going to have to spend alot more to get drunk.
Another thing that happened was that i got in at about 4am and i only slept till 10am. This happened the last time i went out drinking on a saturday. I got in about 4am and had about 6 hours sleep. I wish i could lie in till late afternoon for once. At 28 i am to old for this shit lol.
I have been getting into Eminem again recently after a lone while when i did not listen to him. I go through these stages when i can listen to something and then after a while i cannot stand it. This happened to me with Eminem's MARSHALL MATHERS LP. I was never really into rap but when i heard that i loved it from that start and listened to it daily for ages. Then i just got bored of it and did not listen to it for about 6 months but started to realize why i liked it again. Also i have been to the gym 3 times this week which is good as i have been noticing that i have put on a bit of wieght recently and i need to keep that body toned lol. Oh well thats all folks.

Its wierd, even though it has just been under 3 weeks since i last updated my diary it feels like it has been months. Its funny how the passage of time can seem so slow one minute but then whizz by in a flash. I have been rather ill these past few days. I have had a rather crappy cold. I could feel it coming these last few weeks as i have been sneezing alot recently but it has never fully developed into a full blown cold. Well on friday it finally came full tilt as i was sneezing and had a blocked up nose and was feeling rather nauseous.
Oh well erm will try and put together a proper update in the next few days. Not much has happened so catch you later.

So i have had this week off work so i have had time to concentrate on my dissertation and i think i have finished it off. I will leave it for a couple of days then go back and read it and see what i think of it then but i just read through it about half an hour a go and it is definitely one of my best pieces of course work i have ever done. I believe it is very readable and does not ramble on to much. Well lets see in a couple of days.
I have written it on German cinema around the period of Expressionism in the 1920's. Although the German film industry was booming because of hard economic times they could not compare with the hollywood films coming out at the time. So they used a method of symbolism and Mis'e en scene to insert mood and deeper meaning into there films.
The best film of that period for me has to be Fritz Lang's M (1931). Its about a serial Killer who prey's on children. It is supposedly based on the real life case of Peter Kurten the "Monster of Dusseldorf" a real child killer who's crimes in the 1920's were still recent enough to reasonate with the minds of the viewers. For a film made over 70 years ago it is more thrilling and entertaining than most of the crap that is churned out today. What is also interesting about it is the sense of dread that is prevailing throughout the film and its direct indictment of mob mentality. It is telling us of the terror that is about to come and obviously history tells us that he was right with the oncoming horror of Nazi Germany.

Anyway lets put that to rest for a couple of days at least. Anyway easily the highlight of the week was friday night when my Girlfriend cooked me dinner. She had brought a book, Gorden Ramsey's Make it easy, and she wanted to try and cook me something out of it. So she did RUMP OF LAMB with Rosmary Scented Jus and it was fantastic. I was not sure what to make of it at first but as i tucked in it was absolutely lovely. We had a wonderful evening, yes i used the word wonderful. That really is the only way to describe it. We did not do much - Have dinner - a few drinks (Non Alcoholic) - and conversation, but it was the highlight of my year so far. It makes all the troubles we have had to go through worth it when we have evenings like this.
Oh we also went and saw a couple of films on the Monday and Tuesday. The Chronicles of Narnia was so dull we nearly walked out of it and Derailed was good trashy fun. Although Jennifer Anniston cannot play serious roles at all. We were bursting out laughing in the scene when she gets raped. I know it is supposed to be a very tense scene but she is just so bad you just cannot help but laugh. Anyway thats all folks. Be Happy.

So these last few weeks have been a little bit more eventful. I sat down with my GF's parents after all the drama that occurred after we came home half an hour later that we said we would one evening. For my part i said his daughter is a full adult and not a kid anymore. I think he has to respect that. Now his major argument was that i just do not understand the asian and muslim culture which is totally true. Then again what culture takes control of your entire life when you are a 23 yr old women?sounds more like a cult to me but hey. It was actually a rather cordial evening and it went without any raised voices.

We went and saw Munich on monday and i have to say after all the hype it has had around it it was a bit of a let down. The beginning 10 mins of it when it sets up the film when the terrorists take the olympic athletes hostage, this is intercut with real life news footage that occurred at the time, is rather amateurly done. The middle bit where Eric Bana and all the other guys go after the people responsible is superb and Speilberg at his best. It reminded me of the 70's thrillers THE CONVERSATION and THE FRENCH CONNECTION. The film gives you that sense of paranoia when the men start to question the integrity of what they are doing. Should we answer violence with violence?. And then then last 20 mins arrive and it becomes a bit of a mess again. Spielberg is trying to find a conclusion but he does not know when to end it so it just goes on. When its good its very good but there is enough flaws in it that i did not think it merited its best picture nod at the oscars, nor did i think Spielberg deserve a best director nomination. As with Schindler's List Spielberg gives us the worst kind of manipulation, are we supposed to root for the good guys as they knock of the people involved in the athletes kidnapping?. Spielberg is basically giving us emotional pornography. .
Anyway i am ranting but Spielberg increasing attempts at making serious films is getting rather annoying. I gotta go bitches so laters.

This last year i have had so much hastle its untrue. It just sort of builds up and there i am thinking what the fuck???. Do you want to kick me a little more while i am down eh GOD?. The latest episode is to due with my GF and her parents. Its all just kicking off because we came in half an hour late from the time when we said we would get back.
I am very pissed off at the moment i feel i am going to really have a go at someone soon. When i am at work i feel i am going to explode and hit someone. In the end all my life will surmount to is a piece on the national news about some kid who shot up Tesco's lol. Oh well at least it will not be as bad as Dene's life.
Fuck, no still angry.